Thursday's meeting with the adoption agency was a big one for us. It was a little bit of training about adoption and a little bit more information to help us make some important decisions. It definitely gave us a few more things to think about.
A majority of this meeting focused on our adoption plan. The plan is divided into two major sections: adoption preferences and openness plan. As we work through the adoption preferences we are to decide whether we will welcome a child that has correctable medical conditions, severe medical conditions, a different race than ours, among other things. We also have to decide our preferences about the social and medical history of the expectant parents, such as, mental illnesses, drug/alcohol use, HIV infection, etc. While these decisions may seem simple (Who wouldn't adopt a child no matter what?) there's a lot more involved than just checking yes or no. As I think about a child with several medical disorders, I have to be honest that we may not be the best parents for that child. For example, we have no experience in caring for a child with something like Cerebal Palsy. There are parents who would be much more qualified for providing outstanding care for a child with that condition. Then I think, "Well, certainly no parents are prepared for that." So, this is the sort of thing we need to think and pray through.
The second part of the plan addresses our openness. This asks us to decide what sort of relationship we want with the birth parents. The options are open, semi-open, and closed. The "closed" option means that we will have no contact with the birth parents and the child will not know the parents while he/she is growing up. The "semi-open" option means that we will have access to the birth parents and can send them notes and pictures, though the child will not have contact with them. The "open" option means that we (including the child) will be able to meet the birth parents. This is another difficult decision and we have received advice going in both directions. It's hard to know what the right/best thing is to do. We watched a video about "openness" and it involved birth mothers. One mother said the hardest part after giving birth was leaving the hospital in a wheelchair, but not having a baby in her arms. I can't imagine how difficult that must be.
Our prayer needs:
- Pray for us as we work through the adoption plan and decide on preferences about the child.
- Pray for us as we think about and make decisions regarding our openness.
- Continue to pray for our finances. Currently we have 27% of the total we need at placement.
- Pray for that mother out there who is carrying the baby that will grow in our home.
We continue to be excited about this journey and definitely see God at work, but it can be quite emotionally draining. It will be oh so worth it in the end.
