Twenty Things

The first of five books the agency asked us to read during the waiting period was this book -- "Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew."  The author, an adoptee herself, provides a wealth of resources and personal experience to make this book an enlightening, and enjoyable, read.  Based on her own personal experiences, and those gathered from other adoptees, Ms. Eldridge provides insight into the heart and mind of an adopted child to the benefit of his/her parents.

The book is very relevant, but one thing that keeps coming back to my mind has to do with the adopted child's birthday.  The adopted child wants his/her parents to know that sometimes birthdays can be very difficult for them.  Unlike biological children, the adopted child may see her birthday as the day she was rejected, the abandonment day, or the day her parents didn't want her.  The result may be bursts of anger, depression, or still silence.

Many of these "Twenty Things" are difficult truths to swallow, but obviously very important to grasp.  They are just as important for parents with adopted children as they are for parents with biological children.  I found myself thinking many times, "All parents should read this book," because it's really "Twenty Things EVERY Kid Wishes His/Her Parents Knew."

The next book to read is "Orphanology," gospel-centered adoption and orphan care.  

Family Web Profile

Another way to get our name out there for expectant mothers to find us is by creating a "family web profile" for Bethany Christian Services.  The web profile is a short letter about us, describing who we are and our journey to adoption.  This letter will then be published on the Bethany Christian Services website along with two still pictures and one slideshow.  If you go to their website (click here), you can see that many other families have made a similar profile.  To see profiles from other families, go to the bottom right corner of their site and look for "family profiles."  We hope to have our profile finished this week.  A link to it will be provided on our blog. 

Subscribe

We just added a new gadget to the blog.  When you scroll down the right side of the screen, you'll see the heading "Subscribe via email."  If you'd like to receive the latest updates about our adoption journey in your inbox, then click this link and follow the instructions.  It's easy to do and it's a reliable source -- published by Google.

Thanks for following our story!

impregnant.org

A great resource for women facing an unplanned pregnancy is the website impregnant.org.  This website provides information about how to tell if you're pregnant; it describes the various options for an unplanned pregnancy; and it answers some common questions about pregnancy.  If your pregnancy was not planned, you need to know that you do not have to go through it alone.  Someone is available to support you at impregnant.org.  

W a i t i n g

It's only been 17 days since we've officially been done with all of our paperwork and on the waiting list, but it feels much longer.  We've hit the point of just waiting for a phone call from the adoption agency to tell us that we've been matched with a mother and her baby.  The agency told us that during the time of filling out our paperwork, everything would move along quickly.  They also told us that once the paperwork was done, and the home study was approved, it would feel like we hit a brick wall.  They were right.  Every time the phone rings, we jump with anticipation that it's our agent from Bethany. 

When you're waiting for something, you find things to do to pass the time.  Some of the things we have occupied ourselves with include: decorating the baby's room (so far we have the crib, changing table, and several decorations, but we're waiting for the glider, which was backordered); we're reading a book titled, "Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wished Their Adoptive Parents Knew," it's an emotinoally challenging read; and we pray every day for the baby God has chosen for us.

Some things you could pray about:

• That the mother would be taking good care of herself (and the baby she's carrying) and that she would make a final decision about adoption.
• That a baby would soon be available for us to adopt.
• That God would prepare our hearts and minds for the role of being, not only parents, but adoptive parents. 
• That we would be patient and know that God's timing is perfect. 

In our eyes, the timing is perfect...our application process is finished, our bills are paid, and it's summer -- the season of new life.  However, we know that God's timing is always perfect and so we will wait on Him.  Thank you for your support, encouragement, and prayers.

Adoption and Jesus

One of the phrases we have learned to use about adoption when speaking about our child is that our child "was adopted," not "is adopted."  I hadn't previously thought about the importance of that distinction, but it does make quite a difference.  To say that my child "is adopted" is to put a label on him/her.  It might single the child out as different, especially if he/she is the only adopted child among biological siblings.  However, to say the child "was adopted" is to say, "This is how you were received into our family.  While the others were born into the family, you were adopted."  The child who "was adopted" has all of the legal, social, familial rights and privileges as biological children.  This is a great image of how we relate to God through Christ.

Until we started the adoption process, I didn't realize how frequently the Bible uses the term "adoption" to describe the change in our lives because of Jesus.  The word "adoption" is used five times in the New Testament:

"For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as [sons and daughters] by which we cry out, 'Abba!  Father!'" (Romans 8:15, NASB)

 "And not only this, but also we ourselves, having the first fruits of the Spirit, even ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for our adoption as [sons and daughters], the redemption of our body." (Romans 8:23, NASB)

 "For I could wish that I myself were accursed, separated from Christ for the sake of my brethren, my kinsmen according to the flesh, who are Israelites, to whom belongs the adoption as [sons and daughters], and the glory and the covenants and the giving of the Law and the temple service and the promises, whose are the fathers, and from whom is the Christ according to the flesh, who is over all, God blessed forever.  Amen." (Romans 9:3-4, NASB)

 "But when the fullness of the time came, God sent for His Son, born of a woman, born under the Law, so that He might redeem those who were under the Law, that we might receive adoption as [sons and daughters]." (Galatians 4:4-5, NASB)

 "He predestined us to adoption as [sons and daughters] through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved." (Ephesians 1:5-6, NASB)

Paul wrote that we were "by nature children of wrath" (Eph. 2:3).  Before faith in Christ, people literally belong to the "family of disobedience."  But, if your faith is in Jesus Christ, you have been adopted into the family of God.  You can run with arms wide open to your "Abba!  Father!"  He didn't adopt only your "spirit," but your entire being was adopted through Christ.  You have been adopted into God's family just as those under the Law, receiving the full rights and privileges as a child of God.  It was His plan to adopt you into His family and He did it freely and for His glory. 

God doesn't look at you and say, "This child is adopted," causing you to feel inferior.  Rather, He smiles at you and says, "This child was adopted into my family."  Your adoption into the family of God is complete because of your faith in Jesus Christ.  You are no longer a child of wrath, but you are a child of God with your eyes fixed on the hope of a glorious future.