Monday, January 31, 2011
Orientation Meeting
We travel to Sioux Falls on Thursday to meet with Bethany for our "orientation" meeting. During this meeting we will discuss our "openness" plan and make some important decisions about the child we will be receiving into our home. Please keep this meeting in your prayers on Thursday, 1:30 to 3 pm. Thanks!
Friday, January 28, 2011
Adoption Training
Amanda mentioned in the last post that we have orientation with Bethany next week, but we were excited to receive an email last night about some upcoming adoption training.
When we met with our case worker last week, she told us that we may not get our mandatory training done until sometime in March because of schedule conflicts. We weren't excited about that because the training has to be completed before the home study can begin. If training doesn't happen until March, then the home study wouldn't happen until April and things would slow down a lot. We were happy to hear just before we went to bed last night that the training has been scheduled for Thursday, February 17th. A whole month earlier than expected! It's a five hour training session about becoming adoptive parents and all that good stuff. This is a direct answer to prayer.
Thank you for your prayers, support, and encouragement. As Amanda said, it's crazy to think that there's a mother out there carrying a baby that we will welcome into our home. We continue to pray for that mother and child.
When we met with our case worker last week, she told us that we may not get our mandatory training done until sometime in March because of schedule conflicts. We weren't excited about that because the training has to be completed before the home study can begin. If training doesn't happen until March, then the home study wouldn't happen until April and things would slow down a lot. We were happy to hear just before we went to bed last night that the training has been scheduled for Thursday, February 17th. A whole month earlier than expected! It's a five hour training session about becoming adoptive parents and all that good stuff. This is a direct answer to prayer.
Thank you for your prayers, support, and encouragement. As Amanda said, it's crazy to think that there's a mother out there carrying a baby that we will welcome into our home. We continue to pray for that mother and child.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Our First Meeting
Last Wednesday we had our first meeting with Bethany. There were about five other couples there along with the director of the Sioux Falls chapter of Bethany, and the domestic adoption worker. They went over the basics of adoption. The main purpose of this first meeting was to decide if you want to adopt domestically or internationally because each path takes you down a very different road. We had already decided we want to adopt domestically and this meeting confirmed that in our minds.
On Thursday in Sioux Falls we had our fingerprints taken at the downtown police station. It is all done electronically now, pretty cool! We had to mail one set to the FBI, and then take one set back to Bethany. On Thursday afternoon we took the one set back to the Bethany office just to drop it off, and when we got there our social worker wanted to sit down and talk with us for a little while. She said we are moving along pretty fast in this first part of the process. We scheduled our next meeting, orientation, for a week from today. They paired us with one other couple who is also going through the adoption process. At this orientation we will go through our "openness" plan (what kind of a relationship we will have with the birth mom etc.) and we will talk about making our profile. Our profile is an 8x8 shutterfly book we create that explains who we are. When birth moms come to Bethany they look through these books to determine who they want to pick as parents for their child.
We are asking for lots of prayer right now: for all our background checks and fingerprints to come back quickly from state and federal governments (this can take up to 3 months and you are kind of stuck in the process until these come back clear), and our big one is that God would be preparing a mom and child for us that would be a perfect match. It is kind of crazy to think about but there could be a pregnant mom out there right now that will be our match!
Thanks for your prayers and support!
On Thursday in Sioux Falls we had our fingerprints taken at the downtown police station. It is all done electronically now, pretty cool! We had to mail one set to the FBI, and then take one set back to Bethany. On Thursday afternoon we took the one set back to the Bethany office just to drop it off, and when we got there our social worker wanted to sit down and talk with us for a little while. She said we are moving along pretty fast in this first part of the process. We scheduled our next meeting, orientation, for a week from today. They paired us with one other couple who is also going through the adoption process. At this orientation we will go through our "openness" plan (what kind of a relationship we will have with the birth mom etc.) and we will talk about making our profile. Our profile is an 8x8 shutterfly book we create that explains who we are. When birth moms come to Bethany they look through these books to determine who they want to pick as parents for their child.
We are asking for lots of prayer right now: for all our background checks and fingerprints to come back quickly from state and federal governments (this can take up to 3 months and you are kind of stuck in the process until these come back clear), and our big one is that God would be preparing a mom and child for us that would be a perfect match. It is kind of crazy to think about but there could be a pregnant mom out there right now that will be our match!
Thanks for your prayers and support!
Friday, January 21, 2011
Why Is Adoption So Expensive?
We had a nice visit with the staff at Bethany Christian Services on Wednesday evening, then again on Thursday afternoon. Amanda will write more about our visit with them soon, but I wanted to get a quick update to you. They are happy with how we are making progress on our application (just a few more things to turn in). They said we should get an award for getting our paperwork in so quickly. I thought to myself, "You can reward us by giving us a discount on our adoption." Which brings up a common question - Why is adoption so expensive?
For domestic adoption (which we are doing), adoption fees cover overhead charges, legal work, resources provided to us (the adoptive parents), but most importantly care and counseling for the expectant mother. When a mother indicates that she would like to place her child up for adoption, the agency she is working with provides cost-free care for her. As I see it, the free care for a mother is somewhat of an incentive for her to not go another route. Part of our adoption fees will cover the counseling she needs as she grieves departure from her child, as well as, some of her medical expenses. Hospital expenses for the child will be covered by our insurance, but expenses for the mother will be covered through our adoption fees. I'm willing to pay whatever it takes if it keeps a mother from bringing a child into an unsuitable home or even taking the route of abortion. When it comes to protecting life, no price is too high.
We continue to save money for the adoption, but the Lord was gracious to provide through some friends the $500 that went with our contract. We were surprised by that! The next hill we have to climb is $2500 for our "home study." We think that once that is completed, we can apply for grants. However, there will probably be another $2500 payment that goes along with our service plan before the grant is dispersed. Because we have been saving and through the sale of some paintings, we are nearly over the first $2500 hill. Praise the Lord! It's so fun to watch Him work and provide. Will you continue to pray for us on our journey? It's an exciting one.
Don't forget. This Sunday, Jan. 23, is Sanctity of Life Sunday. Life is priceless. Protect it.
For domestic adoption (which we are doing), adoption fees cover overhead charges, legal work, resources provided to us (the adoptive parents), but most importantly care and counseling for the expectant mother. When a mother indicates that she would like to place her child up for adoption, the agency she is working with provides cost-free care for her. As I see it, the free care for a mother is somewhat of an incentive for her to not go another route. Part of our adoption fees will cover the counseling she needs as she grieves departure from her child, as well as, some of her medical expenses. Hospital expenses for the child will be covered by our insurance, but expenses for the mother will be covered through our adoption fees. I'm willing to pay whatever it takes if it keeps a mother from bringing a child into an unsuitable home or even taking the route of abortion. When it comes to protecting life, no price is too high.
We continue to save money for the adoption, but the Lord was gracious to provide through some friends the $500 that went with our contract. We were surprised by that! The next hill we have to climb is $2500 for our "home study." We think that once that is completed, we can apply for grants. However, there will probably be another $2500 payment that goes along with our service plan before the grant is dispersed. Because we have been saving and through the sale of some paintings, we are nearly over the first $2500 hill. Praise the Lord! It's so fun to watch Him work and provide. Will you continue to pray for us on our journey? It's an exciting one.
Don't forget. This Sunday, Jan. 23, is Sanctity of Life Sunday. Life is priceless. Protect it.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
The Self Study
The self study is divided into six parts - personality; childhood and family of origin; marriage; previous marriage/significant relationship; work/education history; and children. Here are some examples of the questions they asked:
- Describe how a personal achievement gave you satisfaction.
- When do you tend to get stressed/frustrated?
- What kind of child were you? How did you spend your time? Who were your friends?
- How has your relationship with your spouse changed since the "honeymoon"?
- What do you admire most about your spouse?
- What are your main areas of disagreement?
- Describe your educational experience.
- How do you think a child (or children) will impact your life?
How would you answer some of these? There were times I wanted to be sarcastic, but I refrained. It was five pages of short essay questions. On the final page they asked if there's anything you'd like to add. I think they covered it all:) So glad to have the self study finished. We are nearly finished with our part of the paperwork. Looking forward to visiting with the agency on Wednesday.
- Describe how a personal achievement gave you satisfaction.
- When do you tend to get stressed/frustrated?
- What kind of child were you? How did you spend your time? Who were your friends?
- How has your relationship with your spouse changed since the "honeymoon"?
- What do you admire most about your spouse?
- What are your main areas of disagreement?
- Describe your educational experience.
- How do you think a child (or children) will impact your life?
How would you answer some of these? There were times I wanted to be sarcastic, but I refrained. It was five pages of short essay questions. On the final page they asked if there's anything you'd like to add. I think they covered it all:) So glad to have the self study finished. We are nearly finished with our part of the paperwork. Looking forward to visiting with the agency on Wednesday.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Tree of Life and Hope
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| Tree of Life and Hope |
Amanda and I were thinking of some creative ways to raise funds for adoption. One of those ideas was to sell some of my paintings. (Did you know that one of my hobbies is painting?) As I thought about how to creatively express hope and life, I came up with the above painting. The tree represents life and hope in a barren landscape, much like adoption is for a child. One of these paintings is hanging in what will be the baby's room. It's a great reminder for us of what this process means.
If you would like to support our adoption and receive one of these paintings, please contact us by email (lifeandhope4betrons@gmail.com) or by phone (605-352-1774). You can also make a donation through PayPal. Just click the "donate" button to the right and it will take you to our secure account.
Any gift amount will help us a lot with our adoption expenses. Thank you, thank you!
Contract submitted!
Today we put in the mail our contract for adoption services with Bethany and our first payment! This means that we are officially working with Bethany and they will now begin preparing things on their side.
On a side note, it has been so neat and encouraging hearing from so many of you about your own experiences with adoption. We have heard of another couple who adopted through Bethany plus couples who have worked with other agencies. It is exciting to see how God has worked matching parents with children.
Bethany was in the news lately for what they have been doing in New York City. Their offices in NYC contacted 14 abortion clinics and asked the clinics if they would be willing to tell clients about the adoption services that Bethany offers. All 14 clinics agreed! We are excited to be working with a Christian agency that is impacting communities and sharing the love of Christ.
Amanda
Link to article about Bethany in NYC: Adoption Outreach on Abortion Row
On a side note, it has been so neat and encouraging hearing from so many of you about your own experiences with adoption. We have heard of another couple who adopted through Bethany plus couples who have worked with other agencies. It is exciting to see how God has worked matching parents with children.
Bethany was in the news lately for what they have been doing in New York City. Their offices in NYC contacted 14 abortion clinics and asked the clinics if they would be willing to tell clients about the adoption services that Bethany offers. All 14 clinics agreed! We are excited to be working with a Christian agency that is impacting communities and sharing the love of Christ.
Amanda
Link to article about Bethany in NYC: Adoption Outreach on Abortion Row
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Formal Application Submitted
Our formal application for adoption was submitted online yesterday. This application allows the agency to check our family background, financial stability, personal references, and reason for wanting to adopt, among other things. They are usually pretty quick about getting a response back to us, so we are waiting to hear from them about this application in the next few days. In addition, we are working at submitting our contract with them (which includes a $500 fee) and permission to do a background check. Tomorrow we are hoping to make some headway with the "personality" portion of the application.
Additionally, if you would like to be part of our journey through a financial gift, we would be happy to have you:) We have made it easy for you by setting up a PayPal account, which you can see on the sidebar. Just so you know, donations through PayPal are not tax-deductible, but we are checking on that option through Bethany Christian Services. (NOTE: Click the "continue" button near the Visa and Master Card symbols on the PayPal screen to avoid setting up a PayPal account.)
From the bottom of our hearts, thank you for your prayers and support.
Additionally, if you would like to be part of our journey through a financial gift, we would be happy to have you:) We have made it easy for you by setting up a PayPal account, which you can see on the sidebar. Just so you know, donations through PayPal are not tax-deductible, but we are checking on that option through Bethany Christian Services. (NOTE: Click the "continue" button near the Visa and Master Card symbols on the PayPal screen to avoid setting up a PayPal account.)
From the bottom of our hearts, thank you for your prayers and support.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Meeting Postponed
Our meeting today with Bethany Christian Services was postponed due to bad weather. Blah! I took Amanda to work this morning and not once were we able to see the lines on the road. It's probably a good thing that we aren't going to Sioux Falls, but we're sort of bummed. We'll have to wait until next week.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Jury Duty
I don't know how much this has to do with adoption, but it is part of the story.
Just after we made an appointment to visit with the adoption agency, I (Jeremiah) received my notice to report for jury duty. The appointment with the agency was to be on Monday, January 10 at 6:30 pm in Sioux Falls and the trial was to begin that day, too, but in Huron. The judge said the trial would start in the morning and finish up by 5 pm. Since that ending time wouldn't give us enough time to get to Sioux Falls for the meeting, I was getting a little nervous. Long story short, I've been sitting in the jury selection process for the past two days. They had to narrow down 60 potential jurors to the twelve required and two alternates. I just found out an hour ago that I was not selected for the jury. I can now breathe a sigh of relief. I love our nation's system, but doesn't jury duty always come up when something else important is going on in your life? We're going to the meeting on Monday as planned:)
Just after we made an appointment to visit with the adoption agency, I (Jeremiah) received my notice to report for jury duty. The appointment with the agency was to be on Monday, January 10 at 6:30 pm in Sioux Falls and the trial was to begin that day, too, but in Huron. The judge said the trial would start in the morning and finish up by 5 pm. Since that ending time wouldn't give us enough time to get to Sioux Falls for the meeting, I was getting a little nervous. Long story short, I've been sitting in the jury selection process for the past two days. They had to narrow down 60 potential jurors to the twelve required and two alternates. I just found out an hour ago that I was not selected for the jury. I can now breathe a sigh of relief. I love our nation's system, but doesn't jury duty always come up when something else important is going on in your life? We're going to the meeting on Monday as planned:)
Monday, January 3, 2011
A Journey of Paperwork
We want to say thank you for so many encouraging emails and comments these past few days. They have meant a lot to us and really affirm this direction we are headed. It has also been neat to hear of others who are interested in adopting in the future and of some who are familiar with the agency we are using, Bethany Christian Services.
After receiving word last week that our preliminary application had been approved, some additional items were sent to us. One of those being a link to the "adoption portal," which enables us to communicate with the agency and to fill out our formal application online. Another item sent to us is that "formal application," which isn't as bad as I thought it would be. We need to provide all the general information -- personal details, criminal history (none there), references, information about our parents, and a description of our house and community. I enjoyed telling them that our house was newly carpeted and painted thanks to many people from our church. A third bit of paperwork we need to fill out is called the "self study." This one's the whopper. It has too many questions for me to count and they aren't easy answers. Amanda and I both have to fill out the self study, describing things like our personality, our marriage, what it was like for us growing up, and what we think our roles are as parents. This is going to take us a while. They have told us that they are also sending through regular mail some other items for us to fill out. I didn't realize that this journey of life and hope is also a journey of paperwork. Nonetheless, it's one we're happy to endure.
Prayer needs:
- Please continue to pray for that unknown mother out there who has a difficult decision to make.
- Please pray that we could be patient as we wait on God's perfect timing for a little one.
- Please continue to pray for us as we gather our resources. Once our "home study" is completed in a few weeks, we will begin applying for grants and doing some fundraising to help cover the expenses.
- Please pray for us as we fill out all of this paperwork. We want to seize the moment to enjoy the journey.
Thank you!
After receiving word last week that our preliminary application had been approved, some additional items were sent to us. One of those being a link to the "adoption portal," which enables us to communicate with the agency and to fill out our formal application online. Another item sent to us is that "formal application," which isn't as bad as I thought it would be. We need to provide all the general information -- personal details, criminal history (none there), references, information about our parents, and a description of our house and community. I enjoyed telling them that our house was newly carpeted and painted thanks to many people from our church. A third bit of paperwork we need to fill out is called the "self study." This one's the whopper. It has too many questions for me to count and they aren't easy answers. Amanda and I both have to fill out the self study, describing things like our personality, our marriage, what it was like for us growing up, and what we think our roles are as parents. This is going to take us a while. They have told us that they are also sending through regular mail some other items for us to fill out. I didn't realize that this journey of life and hope is also a journey of paperwork. Nonetheless, it's one we're happy to endure.
Prayer needs:
- Please continue to pray for that unknown mother out there who has a difficult decision to make.
- Please pray that we could be patient as we wait on God's perfect timing for a little one.
- Please continue to pray for us as we gather our resources. Once our "home study" is completed in a few weeks, we will begin applying for grants and doing some fundraising to help cover the expenses.
- Please pray for us as we fill out all of this paperwork. We want to seize the moment to enjoy the journey.
Thank you!
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