Conclusion of Home Study

The report from our home study was sent to us yesterday afternoon.  We have reviewed it and returned it to Bethany.  Here is the conclusion from their report:

The results of this psychosocial evaluation strongly support this worker’s opinion that Jeremiah and Amanda are ready, willing, and able to take on the parenting challenges present in adoption.  This ability appears to be based from their solid attachments with their own parents.  Jeremiah and Amanda appear to be free of any unresolved trauma, loss, or victimization experiences that would interfere with their ability to parent. 

Jeremiah and Amanda possess all of the characteristics found in healthy, mature adults and successful adoptive parents.  This couple also has an excellent familial support system.  All family members are inclusive and ready to embrace a child as a full family member. 

Jeremiah and Amanda are equally committed to parenting and competent in this role.  Although they have not parented yet, it is this worker’s opinion that they will use loving, consistent parenting techniques.  They enjoy spending time with their nieces and nephews; both are also involved with the Sunday school program at their church.  A willingness to increase their knowledge and develop skills pertinent to adopting a child with minor special needs was evident throughout the home study process.  This worker appreciated their open and honest communication about their motivation to adopt and the child they desire to adopt.  They realize that maintaining a healthy marriage requires effort from both partners and that bringing a child into the family will create new familial dynamics.  It is this worker’s belief that this couple is competent to provide a safe, structured, and nurturing home environment for a child.

The Waiting Period

We are now in what they call the "waiting period."  Another way to say it is, "We are pregnant (so-to-speak), we just don't know how long the pregnancy will go on.  We could be waiting for a week or a year.  It's hard to say.  We're just waiting...

Some specific things we're waiting for include:
- The completion of our home study report.  Our caseworker is organizing all of the information she has gathered into a report for their office.  We hope this will be completed this week.
- An expectant mother to visit the agency and select us to be the parents of her child.
- A due date for a baby. 

As we are waiting, we will be praying for the expectant parents to make a committed decision and for the health and well-being of the baby.  We will also be reading some books about being adoptive parents.  The agency has started sending us some magazines and literature to prepare us for that role.  And, of course, we will continue putting together the baby's room.  We'll post pictures of the room when it's finished.  

We want to say thank you to everyone for your prayers and support.  Thank you for asking about the adoption process.  We are blessed to have you in our life.  It's exciting to be at this point because it was a year ago today that we found out that we were pregnant.  A lot has happened in a year.  God moved us in a completely different direction.  Perhaps the purpose of the miscarriage was to point us to adoption.  Who knows?  The fact is, we are getting closer!  Please continue to pray. 

Home Study is Finished!

Our case worker came to the house yesterday for the third and final visit.  She had several more questions for us, but this time about our community.  She wanted to know what we thought about living in the country, what we liked about it and didn't like.  She asked about our neighbors...which are few.  We were happy to tell her that all of our neighbors attend our church and they are really good people.  We also had to tell her how many miles to the nearest hospital in case of emergencies.  She even wanted to know where we would send our children to school (James Valley was our answer, by the way).

After she finished with her questions, she walked around the house just to check things out.  She took the water temperature (ours was perfect at 120 deg).  She asked how many smoke alarms we had.  You're supposed to have one in every bedroom and at least one on every level.  We have to pick up a few more.

She ended the session by working through our adoption plan.  This is a list of items we filled out that they use to match us with an expectant mother.  It went mostly well, but we do have some things to think about.  We also came up with a list of goals to work on over the next few weeks.  

Overall, it went really well.  We are now done with all of the preliminary work.  She will write up our report and send it to us for review.  After they approve it, we will become a waiting family.  She tells us that it will  be approved next week.

Yellow Rubber Duckies in the Baby's Room

On a side note: In celebration of being done with all this adoption paperwork stuff, we ordered a crib and a changing table for the baby's room.  In the picture are the pac-n-play, stroller, and rubber duckies.  We're going with a brown, green, and yellow theme since we won't know the gender of the baby.  Either way, we figure it's time to start decorating the baby's room!

Home Study (part 2)

The second part of our home study actually didn't take place in our home.  Since we pay mileage for the social worker to come to us, they were kind enough to let us come to them.  This saved us about $150 dollars.  This was okay to do because the interview actually had nothing to do with our home. 

The interview started with both of us together, answering some follow-up questions from the first part of our home study.  Then, the agent split us up and interviewed us individually for an hour.  We weren't quite sure of what to expect, but it went well.  I think she was trying to see if we told the same stories and were on the same page with adoption stuff.

When the interviews were over, she told us that she has no hesitancies about us becoming adoptive parents.  She strongly encouraged us to get our "profile book" printed, which we did last night.  And, she scheduled the third and final part of our home study for this Thursday, March 31. 

So, on Thursday we will be finished with all the preliminary work.  Next week, we will become a waiting family...waiting for a child to be matched with us.  This whole process has moved so quickly and we can see God guiding us through it all.  Thank you for your many prayers.  God is moving.

Our Profile Book

Click here to view this photo book larger

This is the final version of our "profile book."  When the expectant parents come into Bethany, they will be given a hard copy of this book.  If they like what they see, they will ask to meet with us.

Home Study (part 1)

Our case worker arrived a little after 10 this morning to begin our home study.  Amanda and I were both expecting to be split up, but she kept us together.  We answered several questions based on one of the applications we filled out a while ago.  The questions had to do with our experiences growing up; how we will raise our own children; and several other personal questions.  She was here for about two hours, which passed by quickly.  We have two more appointments with her. 

Our next appointment will be next Thursday at the agency in Sioux Falls.  At this meeting, we will be split up and asked more of the same questions.  Then, our case worker will return to our home on March 31st to do a walk through of the house.  This will be our final meeting.

Here's some good news: Our profile will be complete and we can be matched beginning the first week of April.  They are working with several expectant mothers, so keep praying.  It's getting closer...

Home Study Scheduled

Yay!  Our home study has been scheduled for March 17.  This will be the first of two visits to our home.  Amanda and I will meet individually with the social worker to answer questions based on our profile surveys.  The first meet will last 2-3 hours and a second meeting will take place a week or more later.  Once our home study is complete, we will be considered a "waiting family."  We will be waiting to be matched with an expectant mother and the child she is carrying.  Things are moving smoothly and, as you can expect, we are EXCITED! 

In the next few days we will post our "Profile Book" to the blog.  This is the book the expectant mother previews when she comes into Bethany.  She will/will not choose us based on this book.   Watch for it.

Hope for a Grant

Last Thursday was our final adoption training class at Bethany.  It was a five hour meeting with five other couples in attendance.  Mostly we discussed attachment in adoption which is "a special enduring form of 'emotional' relationship with a specific person which involves soothing, comfort and pleasure."  By the end of the session, Amanda and I understood how important attachment really is for an adopted child.  You wouldn't think an infant would have trouble attaching to its adoptive parents until you remember that it spent the first nine months of life in its mother's womb listening to her heartbeat, breathing, and voice.  They tell us that healthy attachment will take several months. 

Now that this meeting is completed, we are just waiting to do our home study.  It should be soon.  It will happen sooner if our FBI background checks have returned to the agency.  So, with the home study quickly approaching, we have started applying for adoption grants.  The applications for these are just about as long as our adoption application.  Our hope is that we will receive enough grant money to cover a major portion of our adoption expenses, that is, $14,500, but doesn't include the first $5500 needed up front.  We feel blessed to have already collected that first $5500 through our own saving and the generous gifts of friends and family.  The grand total of adoption expenses will be somewhere near $20000.  To say the least, we are hoping for a grant (or two, or three).

Please be in prayer for us as we apply for grants.  At this point, we are tired of filling out applications.  Pray that we would persevere through this process.  Also, pray that we could do our home study soon.  The sooner we get that done, the sooner we can be matched with a baby.

THANK YOU!!!

A Journey of Paperwork

We want to say thank you for so many encouraging emails and comments these past few days.  They have meant a lot to us and really affirm this direction we are headed.  It has also been neat to hear of others who are interested in adopting in the future and of some who are familiar with the agency we are using, Bethany Christian Services.

After receiving word last week that our preliminary application had been approved, some additional items were sent to us.  One of those being a link to the "adoption portal," which enables us to communicate with the agency and to fill out our formal application online.  Another item sent to us is that "formal application," which isn't as bad as I thought it would be.  We need to provide all the general information -- personal details, criminal history (none there), references, information about our parents, and a description of our house and community.  I enjoyed telling them that our house was newly carpeted and painted thanks to many people from our church.  A third bit of paperwork we need to fill out is called the "self study."  This one's the whopper.  It has too many questions for me to count and they aren't easy answers.  Amanda and I both have to fill out the self study, describing things like our personality, our marriage, what it was like for us growing up, and what we think our roles are as parents.  This is going to take us a while.  They have told us that they are also sending through regular mail some other items for us to fill out.  I didn't realize that this journey of life and hope is also a journey of paperwork.  Nonetheless, it's one we're happy to endure.

Prayer needs:
- Please continue to pray for that unknown mother out there who has a difficult decision to make.
- Please pray that we could be patient as we wait on God's perfect timing for a little one.
- Please continue to pray for us as we gather our resources.  Once our "home study" is completed in a few weeks, we will begin applying for grants and doing some fundraising to help cover the expenses.
- Please pray for us as we fill out all of this paperwork.  We want to seize the moment to enjoy the journey.

Thank you!